Hillary’s Blog

Probably myself included.

Because of popular culture… people who are overweight or have a BMI of over 25 are made to feel like something is wrong with them. We’re made to feel like a minority at every turn, clothing stores, beaches, doctors offices…. And most recently I’ve read “people of size” instead of fat, only heightening the illusion that we’re few and far between.

Everyone seems to ignore the fact that 2/3 of Americans are in this category.
That 50% or more of women are plus size.
That there are risks associated with higher weight… but doctors don’t know the reasons for this, or the causal relationship. (They’ve never been able to figure out why I put on the lbs while eating fewer calories and working out more than my peers.)
Not everyone who is overweight, overeats,underexercises, or makes poor food choices.

So right now, I’m 18 weeks preggo and enjoying every minute of it. Lucky for me, my OB’s aren’t sizists and haven’t treated me any differently. I’m sure it helps that I’m not exactly packing on the pounds… in the first 4 months of pregnancy I’ve only put on 5lbs or less. I finally feel “free” in my own skin. It’s so wonderful… and I wish I could feel this way pregnant or not.

I think most people just figure I’m getting fatter cause my belly doesnt exactly resemble a preggo belly at this point. To me it does, but not to most cause it’s very low and hasn’t popped above my belly button yet.

So my point is, I know more “overweight” women this year that are preggo than “normal” women, so men must not be paying much attention to stereotypes. Maybe television and print need to take a cue from reality.

If you’re a sizist… learn the facts and stop being biggoted.

I’ll keep it as simple as possible.

1. Those who have never been pregnant or can’t get pregnant have no say in abortion at all, obviously this includes men. (Just like as a white female I have no right passing laws or judgements against men stating they are not allowed to get vasectomies if they haven’t had children because they are restricting the gene pool or that men are not allowed to get a testicle removed if it has cancer because it still could be viable in creating a pregnancy.)

However, this does not exclude women who may be pregnant, or who may get pregnant in the future. So it does exclude those who are “childless by choice” (you had a choice, so should we…)

2. I agree that choice is important, but due to lack of education and those willing to fully educate women on the process and outcomes of abortion, it should be restricted, especially late-term.

3. I fear the way society will look down on women who have no choice to abort late (unviable pregnancy) if we ban it. They already are going through so much we can’t even understand.

4. In a normal pregnancy, you dont even find out if the baby has any fatal abnormalities until 16+ weeks (for genetic testing) and 20+ weeks for ultrasound. Which is why late-term abortions should be allowed if the baby will die and endanger the mother’s life. These mothers only find out late in the pregnancy that their baby will die. This is ALWAYS ignored by arguments of both “sides”, assuming of course there are SIDES, which there are not. I doubt there are people out there pro-abort every child. It’s “PRO-CHOICE” not “PRO-ABORT”.

5. I think abortion is horrendous, but necessary when the mother (who may have other children to care for) is in danger. I would also fully support a women who was raped or a victim of incest to abort early. (Those of you again who have never been pregnant… have no say in this.)

6. Those “anti-choice” need to stop using propoganda and assumptions that the babies of women choosing late-term abortion are normal. These babies will NOT have happy normal lives… they will be in constant pain, dependent on 24/7 care or life support or worse… if they and the mother even survive childbirth at all.

7. The cost for a complicated pre-term birth is upwards of $125,000+! This is just for the birth and 6 days in the hospital, not the continued care and raising of a severely disabled child, or continued hospitalization. You still have to pay if your baby dies 10 minutes after birth.

8. MOST insurances don’t pay for any, let alone a portion of this cost. For mine, I just found out last night I will have to pay over $50,000 OUT OF POCKET! Again, that’s just for premature birth and the baby’s 6 days in the hospital! Nationalize healthcare and this won’t even be in the debate.

9. Banning late-term abortions will endanger women who have other children to care for, and they may die trying to carry a baby that wouldnt be able to live anyway. Therefore leaving their other children motherless.

10. The restrictions on late-term abortion should include: 2 physicians agreement that the pregnancy is life threatening to the mother or the baby is unable to survive or will have no quality of life if carried to term. (Ex. on life support indefinitely, unable to meaningfully interact with their environment.) If they can not get the physician agreement to the above, they should not be able to abort.

11. Questions about what constitutes a reason to abort are physical, life-threatening mutations and genetic abnormalities. This obviously does NOT include; down’s syndrome or mental retardation (unless severe/profound) and other treatable and manageable genetic or gestational complications.

So don’t even go there with me… I’ve helped raise my brother who was diagnosed with Duchenne’s muscular dystrophy. He’s been in a wheelchair since age 11, just faced major back surgery (to insert rods into his spine and hips) at 14 y.o., and has a maximum life expectancy of 25 years old. Other than his physical problems, and Asperger’s Syndrome (on the autistic spectrum) he’s a pretty normal kid. So don’t tell me I dont know what it’s like to raise a child with severe disabilities.

The only people hurt by the ruling today are parents who love their unborn children and faced the difficult decision to end the pregnancy before the baby dies on it’s own (which can be life threatening to the mother) and dies in childbirth. With a partial-birth abortion, they were able to hold their baby and honor it and bury it. In the other methods, they break the baby into pieces and remove it piece by piece (why does THAT seem worse to me?!!?!)

Partial-birth abortion is not really “birth”, they dilate the cervix and remove the baby. It’s the same as the other methods of abortion, only the baby is intact, not in pieces when extracted from the womb. I think this is more humane than breaking the baby into pieces and taking it out! Call me crazy I guess. But now, it’s illegal… and parents have no choice but to have their baby mutilated before being removed, and they are now unable to see their baby after it’s aborted. Now these parents will not be able to say good bye to their child…

Ok, so I’m doing some research for my practicum at the Crisis Center and I come across a great resource (http://www.dr-bob.org/vpc/virtulets.html), directed to me by one of my wonderful classmates, and decide to check it out. One of the pamphlets is about cults and unhealthy groups (http://www.unhcc.unh.edu/resources/cults.html). Hm… this might be some interesting reading… after having watched a documentary on The People’s Temple last week.

Ok… so i start reading… and I think “Hey, this is pretty helpful, what great red flags to watch out for.” Then the farther I read, it hits me, 90%-100% of these red flags for cults and unhealthy groups apply to many religions worldwide. “Interesting” says the researcher mind inside of me. So I read on…

Red Flags:
Leaders are: overly friendly,too interested in you, knows you have $, has all the answers, hides a “greater truth” from you until you are ready for it.

Signs of a destructive organization: approves of unethical behavior (holy wars, crusades, manifest destiny, burning at the stake, stoning) while claiming goodness; Puts the goals of the group over that of the individual; pressure to give $; pressure to give a physical sacrafice (like the vow of poverty and chastity); separation from family & friends or society especially those with different values; and exclusivity.

So yeah, I can pretty much apply every one of those to most world religions. I’m not saying that religion is a bad thing, I think spirituality and belief can be one of the most positive forces in a person’s life. However, when it comes to organized religion with strict dogmas and power in the hands of a few… the chance for abuse of that power is too great a risk. Just because you believe in the same beliefs of your religion, doesnt mean you have to agree with everything that goes along with it. Religions were created by humanity, and in so can be changed by it. Stand up for what you believe in… oh, and don’t drink the kool-aid!

Craig had his back surgery Friday… so I’ve been at Hershey Med Center for the past 4 days. Let me tell ya, I wasnt a pretty sight by today. I finally showered “thumbs up for the smelly, exhausted, hormonal, emotional, worried, anxious preggo lady”. Somehow showering in a hospital community shower just wasn’t as appealing as going stinkified and piling up on deodorant.

He’s doing well. He sat up for an hour today which is amazing! He got all kinds of tubes taken out yesterday and hopefully more today. I miss him. I wish I could be there 24/7 with him. He didnt want Paul and I to come home. He’s been so strong and fighting the pain and trying to heal. It really showed us how much he’s grown and that we’d prepared him well for coping.

Needed a break yesterday after “the asshole” (if you dont know who that means consider yourself lucky) threw a tantrum in the hospital waiting room because my in-laws visited. He had me in a tizzy and I nearly fainted. Paul and him started going at it and Paul was going to kick some serious ass when he started calling my mother-in-law unspeakable names. Luckily hospital security arrived and asked him to leave. Paul calmed me down and we went looking for my mom, who had walked off to call security too.

So now I’m too upset to work, can’t eat, called the doctor, have to call a lawyer… etc. etc. and I’m not with Craig. This has to pile up there on one of my worst day evers. Luckily, I rented a dopplar and Paul and I listened to the baby’s heartbeat last night. 160, that’s comforting. *sigh* If it wasnt for that, I’d probably be in the hospital right now, only with me as the patient.