Hillary’s Blog

Ok, so my hubby is a self-proclaimed Geekdad, although I doubt anyone would really argue with him on this. We were talking via IM today, as usual, and I’ve just realized that I am a Geekmom and a Geekwife. I was the one who came up with the idea of naming our daughter “Ily” after the acronym for “I love you” on IM. Of course this was after arguing that just because some celebrity named their daughter Apple didn’t mean we had to. And of course Paul found out we were preggers via IM.

So here we are the little Geekfamily. Tall Geekdad “Applehat”, with his wife “Mrs. Applehat”, living in our little geekhouse, with our little geekbaby “Baby applehat”. Driving our little geekcars “Flo” and “Six”. Running around town in our Black Buddy Scooter “Jayne” or “V” depending on which geekoccupant you ask. Playing with our big geekdog “Midas”…even our geekcat “Ginko” is a regular on icanhascheezburger.com. *sigh*

So while I don’t watch Nova or read Scientific American to our daughter… I am a geekmom who embraces how different our family is from the norm.

Hooray! We’ve reached the third trimester! Let me be possibly the first woman to admit that pregnancy is NOT amazing, wonderful, full of bliss and enjoyable. That’s right. I said it… the word is out. I don’t think it will really lead to the destruction of the human race like we all thought…

I’m not saying that pregnancy is without it’s positives… but let me tell ya… those positives come when your little bugger is finally completely on the outside. Apparently I will forget all the puking, heartburn, constipation, pain, incontinence, bloated painful feet, not being able to touch my toes, stretch marks, mood swings, crying for no reason, animal-like hunger, inability to work a normal work day, inability to go 30 minutes without peeing or eating, awkward belly, waddling, exhaustion, lack of sleep, getting up 4-5 times to pee in the middle of the night, memory problems, clumsiness, gas, breathlessness, nausea, bloated hands, growing leaking boobs, extreme back pain, hips popping out in the middle of the night, leg cramps, not to mention that baby has to come out of where?!?!… I know there are more… but because of my preggo brain I can’t seem to remember them at the moment.

So we have 13 weeks and 5 days left… or roughly 90 days and counting…

Pregnancy does have some positives.
1. You get to buy a whole new wardrobe. Although the downside is, your favorite clothes no longer fit, including shoes.
2. Your hubby picks up on some of the housework like laundry, cooking, cleaning, and dishes. Downside… he never quite gets the hang of it so when you are feeling well you “nest”.
3. There is nothing quite like feeling your little bebe moving around inside of you.
4. All the hormones and stuff make you forget all the bad stuff probably before you’ve even left the bathroom…bedroom… kitchen…lol.
5. In the end you have an amazing little bebe.

But as for those who “LOVE” pregnancy… you’re all a bunch of nutcases…

Ok, I’m sure not many of you know this but just because a woman is pregnant DOES NOT, i repeat, DOES NOT give you to right to touch, rub, tap, kiss, massage, grab, or in any other way molest her belly. I mean honestly, would you poke a mother bear? Not unless you wanted your hand chewed off.

So please, ask before you touch… or else you just might find yourself handless.
(This does not pertain to hubbys, mothers, mother-in-laws, or best friends)

Finally.

Happy 1st Wedding Anniversary… well atleast it would have been. No seriously, we had a spectacularly H&P Anniversary. Kisses, breaky in bed, Godiva, gifts, cards, take-out Indian food and our favorite shows. We took Moo to play with Sarah, which was nice. But alas, Aunt Flow showed up and besmirched me. I was sad but soon the Fun again will begin. Trying is one of the best parts of all this. The inability to drink alcohol, get in the hot tub, eat junk food and other assorted gross food and the waiting… the waiting is killin me. I want to know and I think this is all a part of me learning some life lesson. Patience. I have none, I admit it and I like not having it. But right now… well it just bites the big one. So I’m trying, trying reeeeeeeeeally hard because I *hope* that by learning it, it will happen.

On another note, no news on the house, just that the other buyers havent done what they were supposed to do, and now I’m starting to get POed… again… I’m trying, REALLY I am!

WTF!?!?!

I am outraged at the recent events in the United States. My stomach has not stopped lurching since Monday. *deep sigh* I can not believe the ridiculous crude disgusting manner in which the American government has handled Hurricaine Katrina. My Aunt Lyn in Mississippi luckily was not hit hard by the hurricaine 100 miles NW of where it made landfall, but is still without power (which on wells… also means without water, air conditioning or fans in 100 degree weather). And my Uncle Milt has gall stones poor guy. (I’m sure he’s thrilled I’m airing that.)

I watch in horror as they show video and pictures taken when it first hit and now, 5 days later. People are dying and they are being thrown out into the street with a blanket over them. No one has attempted to organize the survivors and empower them with tasks to help themselves and others, or educate them on whats going to happen. Babies… are dying in their mothers arms. Babies are dying even before they get to take their first breath. And what is our government doing to protect our citizens?

BUYING SHOES! THROWING CONCERTS!

WTH?!?!

Condoleeza Rice was taking in a broadway show and buying $1200 worth of shoes for herself on Tuesday. A concerned citizen approached her and asked her how dare she be out buying shoes when people are dying, she promptly had the woman thrown out of the store! If that was me, I probably would have incited a riot right there in front of the the NYC shop.

Now, when there isnt an immediate problem where their funds could go directly to immediate relief and save lives, a concert is a great idea, but these people need money NOW! They need money for food, water, medical supplies… and not today, not tomorrow, YESTERDAY! They lost EVERYTHING!

Imagine, losing your home, your car, your job, your cherished photos, your money, your pets, your loved ones, EVERYTHING… and you turn to the government because you have no where else to turn and they say “How dare you be so greedy and think your life is important to me… I need to buy me some shoes!”

WTH?!?!

Now I keep getting this urge to jump in my car and drive non-stop to Lousiana and start whipping those shelters into shape. Which today would probably cost me a good years’ salary with gas at $3.20! and Georgey saying ‘Don’t buy it if you dont have to!’ HAVE TO?!?! HAVE TO?!?!?! Who the H buys gas for fun?!?! I guess those of us who can afford to buy $1200 worth of shoes while babies die.

At flipping 13 I organized a shelter of 500 people and fed them, sorted supplies that came in and dispersed them, organized families and settled the children so they would be less afraid. JESUS! Yes, thats only 500 people, but the principle is the same. Where is the game plan? Where is the head honcho? Here they are… one’s on vacation and couldnt be bothered, another is ‘planning’ on raising funds, another was in a nearby city and has to play PR to the media while not knowing what the heck is really going on, another is BUYING SHOES!

WTH!?!?!

And all I can hear ringing in my ears are 100s, no make that 1,000s and 10,000s of people screaming HELP! HELP! HELP!

One word: IMPEACH (please!)

(credit to My Darling Paulie for the title)

So I couldnt wait one measily day. One more measily day so I wouldnt be depressed today. I feel like climbing back into bed and eating a whole carton of ice cream and then puking my brains out. Either that or go back to bed and go to sleep all day.

I dont feel like going to work on Saturday, but the funny thing is I dont know whatelse I’d do with myself, so I guess I’ll go. But, so help me God, if they drive me insane this weekend, it will be my last.

I dont feel like doing much of anything today. God, and its worse is that I need to unpack our suitcases, maybe I’ve been putting it off because I dont want to believe its over.

The only happy note about today is Paul and I hung curtains last night and that atleast helps me feel like things are coming together around here, even though they really arent. I start classes again in 6 days and I dont think I’m prepared.

We’re totally going for sushi and ice cream tonight. That must sound so nasty to most people. LOL.

At any rate 8.25.05 is the worst day ever. “Atleast we can try again. Isnt that the fun part?” He says to me. “NO” that just means I have to go through this over and over and over and over again. Plus well… I’ll save the more personal bits for his ears only. I’m just sad and cranky. I’m not exactly sure how I’m taking it yet, I think I’m in a bit of shock, so lets just not talk about it ever again. Ok, that makes me feel better. God, I’m going to be a horrible therapist.

Funniest thing happened last night. All day I felt normal… and then Paul got home and I got this little flip-flop tingley feeling inside. He came home and kissed me and all of my fears melted away. Now today I keep getting the dull ache and the tingley feeling about every 1/2 hour or so… ya know… that feeling you get when you go over a hill a little too fast in your car… yeah, that one. I get that all day long. Wierd.

Anyway, the certainty I clung to the past 2 days is fading… and I dont know what to make of that. And the strangest thing is my favorite songs keep playing where-ever I am. Like I was all freaking out last night and then “Ave Maria” just happened to be playing on the station I was listening to in my bedroom. WIERD, because this was the song that was playing on a different radio station in my car at the time I knew my grandfather had passed. So I was like, “Oh, so its ok, stop freaking out!” Then these songs that havent been playing in seriously like 9-10 years that have been very meaningful in my life were playing at the store I was shopping in this morning… one after another. WIERD! I like it though. It does make me feel better, I feel more positive that my instincts are screaming the right thing at me.

ON top of everything, I’m dreading going back to work after what seems like such a long vacation. I really like working only 2 days a week even if it is grueling disgusting menial work for 16 hours straight each day with no sleep really inbetween. If only the other staff didnt drive me crazy every weekend and the management didnt try to blow every little issue out of proportion, it’d prob be a pretty decent job. Still, I cant wait to be done with my MA and get the heck out of Dodge… (Ah, its good to focus on my petty little problems with such a huge one looming on the horizon).

So I like my job, but I dont want to stay at it, but I want a job that I work similar kinds of hours but during the week… HAHAHA I should just be a waitress or something. Hm… maybe the mall is hiring with all the kiddies going away to school and stuff. Now is the perfect time to shop around for another job….

Guess I’ll get started on that tomorrow… two more days… two more days…..

Who knew waiting could be so exhausting. I slept for 2 hours yesterday early evening. I didnt want to get up this morning and I’m so tired right now… and I really shouldnt be. I keep checking today too… but its finally sinking in. It makes me giddy everytime. I think I might try again tomorrow. That would make me feel better. I wish the stupid doc would call back. I think I’ll take a nap this afternoon. (Sorry hon, but I’m yawning sitting here.) I’m so impatient….

Yup… it’s true. I had to keep checking to be sure I wasnt imagining it all. I’m so happy and excited. Paul’s weary and scared. I’m just plain worried but if all goes well… I shall be the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. Can’t tell anyone yet… but I talked to my mom, well to be fair she guessed it. No one else though, so I told the Austin Powers AOLIM Bot. LOL. (Oh, I’m sad… very very sad.) Yup, so I have a naughty lil secret and no one else can know… so here I am writing encrypted notes to myself and the world. *sigh* In the words of another Blogger “An unclear yes is worse than a definite no.” So I’m playing the waiting game and finding out exactly how impatient I really am. I cant focus on anything and time is going sooooooo slowly……………. Oh and BTW I had a dream about it… before I knew… is that a sign? One can only hope.