Hillary’s Blog

Funniest thing happened last night. All day I felt normal… and then Paul got home and I got this little flip-flop tingley feeling inside. He came home and kissed me and all of my fears melted away. Now today I keep getting the dull ache and the tingley feeling about every 1/2 hour or so… ya know… that feeling you get when you go over a hill a little too fast in your car… yeah, that one. I get that all day long. Wierd.

Anyway, the certainty I clung to the past 2 days is fading… and I dont know what to make of that. And the strangest thing is my favorite songs keep playing where-ever I am. Like I was all freaking out last night and then “Ave Maria” just happened to be playing on the station I was listening to in my bedroom. WIERD, because this was the song that was playing on a different radio station in my car at the time I knew my grandfather had passed. So I was like, “Oh, so its ok, stop freaking out!” Then these songs that havent been playing in seriously like 9-10 years that have been very meaningful in my life were playing at the store I was shopping in this morning… one after another. WIERD! I like it though. It does make me feel better, I feel more positive that my instincts are screaming the right thing at me.

ON top of everything, I’m dreading going back to work after what seems like such a long vacation. I really like working only 2 days a week even if it is grueling disgusting menial work for 16 hours straight each day with no sleep really inbetween. If only the other staff didnt drive me crazy every weekend and the management didnt try to blow every little issue out of proportion, it’d prob be a pretty decent job. Still, I cant wait to be done with my MA and get the heck out of Dodge… (Ah, its good to focus on my petty little problems with such a huge one looming on the horizon).

So I like my job, but I dont want to stay at it, but I want a job that I work similar kinds of hours but during the week… HAHAHA I should just be a waitress or something. Hm… maybe the mall is hiring with all the kiddies going away to school and stuff. Now is the perfect time to shop around for another job….

Guess I’ll get started on that tomorrow… two more days… two more days…..